Category: patterns

Leadership, patterns

No Laughing Matter

Frank Walsh

Image by Tumisu from Pixabay

An executive, a middle manager and a warehouse worker walk into a bar…

There is no punchline here, but humor plays an important role in the workplace, and not always in a positive way. When is it good natured mood-lightening, and when is it disruptive? Humor in the workplace often falls into three broad categories:

Clowns – seem to always be looking for ways to inject humor into the environment. They pull pranks, tell water cooler jokes, and embellish stories with humorous anecdotes whenever possible. Generally good natured and well intended, they can go off the rails when they take things too far or neglect to consider other sensitivities. This is typically not intentional, but they also may not have much regard for people who “don’t get it”, and don’t recognize the harm they cause. They can also be seen as someone who is untrustworthy and never takes anything seriously enough.

Clowns may very well be people who just want a light and happy workplace, but they may also be attempting to divert attention away from real issues, either personal or professional. Humor is used as a diversion or deflection to avoid getting too close or too deep.

Satirists – have a response to everything, and it may be equally likely to get a laugh, create an angry reaction, or cause a cringe worthy moment, depending on the recipient. Used inappropriately or too frequently, and satire is easily interpreted as sarcasm. Sarcasm is an off the cuff response intended to dismiss what was said rather than explore it.

Satire can be used effectively to uncover hidden or unspoken issues, and the best satirists keep this skill in reserve and know how to use it in a way that isn’t personal. But satire can also be cutting and its delivery can be particularly hurtful and personal. At their best, Satirists can get others to look at issues from different perspectives. At their worst, sarcasm is perceived as defensive or attacking, and belittling or ridiculing others.

Shock comedians – are the least predictable of the bunch, often making wildly inappropriate ‘jokes’ at the most unusual and unexpected times, in an often misguided attempt to ‘break the tension’. Sometimes this works, and a release of tension allows a group or a discussion to move forward in a positive way, but more often than not the result is an even more awkward tension as the group tries to reconcile the action and their individual responses. 

Shock comedy can be the workplace equivalent of shouting “Fire!” in a theatre. The comedian is often deeply uncomfortable in the discussion and is looking to do anything to get out of it by changing the subject or diverting attention to something else, even themselves. If you feel the need to break the tension, be clear about your intent and also about the path back to the issue at hand.

As a leader who carries any of these patterns with you, you can use the positive traits to become someone who uses humor carefully, in a measured and yet provocative way, to keep the mood loose and help others to think freely without offending them or diverting attention away from the issues at hand. You should also help others transform their unproductive behavior by acknowledging that they are heard, talking about how their words or actions might be seen as disruptive, and asking probing questions about their intentions.

coaching, Leadership, patterns

Welcome to the family business

Frank Walsh

A client once described her perception of what makes leadership in a family business different from a corporation. She said that working in a family business is a switch that does not turn off. You can’t leave problems, issues, feelings, and frustrations at the door. Family carries with it expectations, obligations, legacies and such. And of course you have to face these people outside if you don’t perform.

All true, yet it is my experience that many (if not most) people have the same difficulties leaving these things at the door in their average corporate roles. Most people in roles of responsibility and accountability carry their burdens home with them. Most also carry the burdens of ‘life’ back to the office. If this were not true there would not be an entire industry preaching the gospel of work-life balance.

The explanation is simple. Our family, whatever it looked like, is the first ‘organization’ that any of us belonged to, and at the most impressionable time in our lives. That organization had history that far preceded us and a future that extends beyond our ability to see. That organization had a way that ‘things are done’ and even if we hated it, we learned it. We will see that original organization in every other one we are part of for the rest of our lives, regardless how hard we might try to separate ourselves from it. People in the workplace will play the part of family members, and those behaviors will spring deep seated triggers in us based on how we learned to react in our original organization. When that happens we cannot help but play our part in the theater.

You can’t forget, you can’t ignore, but you can transform. Learn to “see” yourself as others see you. Get at observation level of your own behaviors and understand your triggers, not just what they are, but WHY they are. When you do this you give yourself the ability to choose how to react.