Most business leaders I talk to do not hesitate to say that people are the most valuable asset of their business, yet when I press them about how they spend their time, they reveal that they make very little PERSONAL investment in this asset.
Leaders may recognize the value in their people, but their actions reflect that they manage them in the same was as “hard” assets. People are not something to be simply maintained. They must be supported, nourished, and engaged.
One of my favorite phrases is “finding the dots is more difficult than connecting them.” I use this a lot, but I don’t take credit for it. I’m not sure who first uttered it, but I read it in an article published in The Futurist magazine in 2002 about “Weak Signals”. That article was about looking for the Next Big Thing, but my realization was that “finding the dots” was a treasure that could and should be applied to our personal and professional growth.
In my experience in leadership development, I have come to believe that overcoming limits and improving relationships is largely about Observing, Understanding and Transforming the behavior patterns that affect our personal and professional lives. The concept of connecting the dots is so crucial to this process that it is practically a mantra. Connecting the dots allows you to Understand how past events (even those you did not personally experience) impact your present day behavior. My experience also tells me that most people, when confronted with the facts (the “dots” of their past so to speak) make these connections with little assistance. Where they struggle most is in seeing those truths in the first place.
I have no doubts that there are many ways to take a voyage of self discovery. For me, and many of the leaders I have worked with, the journey starts with looking back, waaay back.
Say what you want about the role of nature versus nurture in our intellect and our innate abilities, but there can be little doubt that our behaviors are a result of our experiences. Family, Culture and Crisis are the framework upon which we are built, and how we have reacted to each of those ingredients is who we are today. Taking a hard look at those elements is the basis of moving from self awareness to self understanding as I have previously written.
I’m not talking about therapy here, though that certainly may be an important path for some. I’m talking about a journey of discovery to truly understand what came before you, to understand WHY you are, not simply WHAT you are. How many of us spend time looking back at our past, our families or our culture, beyond what we know of our parents through the filter of our lifetimes? Very few, I wager. We may have known grandparents, aunts, uncles, maybe even great grandparents. We heard stories, the ones they liked to tell or the ones that seemed important enough to share. Those are the easy dots, the ones left on display for everyone to see, and they helped us form a picture of where we came from. But they are not enough to allow us to understand why we are who we are. Understanding involves going deeper, making difficult, uncomfortable or perhaps even painful discoveries. It involves talking to our family to learn how they felt and dealt with situations, asking about ancestors and times of crisis and loss, as well as victory and success. It requires turning over rocks and climbing trees looking for dots, not just picking up the ones in plain sight. For myself, and I suspect for many others who have experienced this, the process of “going deep” and examining your past is the real work, and holds the real revelations.
No, connecting the dots is not easy per se, but the connections are often obvious for all but the most ardent deniers. For most of us, finding the dots truly is more difficult than connecting them.
We can all be pulled into the darkness of the forest. Weighed down by anxiety or uncertainty, anger or envy, sadness or remorse. The deeper we travel, the darker it becomes. Darkness can urge you to embrace it. It can offer the comfort of isolation and promise freedom from pain in exchange for pain, but it is a false friend.
The way out is to Seek Light. The light is always there if we allow ourselves to see it. A glimmer through the canopy or a sudden open glade. The light reveals itself in different ways for different people, and requires that we hold hope and have faith that it is there.
Sometimes you can find the light yourself. Follow it.
Sometimes you need help. Call out.
Sometimes you see someone lost in the dark. Be The Light.
Closing the loop is an important part of the change process. Humans need to have closure with the past before they can accept the future. In this episode we talk about closing the loop with your team.
Any change is going to face challenges and setbacks. Sometimes even the smallest of things can send people over a cliff and into chaos, quickly followed by others. Learn to recognize and address the emotional responses and you can get your team back on track quickly.
In the previous four videos we have covered the process of collecting 360 feedback, analyzing and internalizing it, and observing your own behavior. Today we will wrap this topic up (for now) by showing you how to “interrupt” your unproductive behavior and get a discussion Back on Track.
Watching five videos for a total of 20 minutes is not going to be enough for most people to turn the corner on their own. Contact us for a free 30 minute coaching session and see how a coach can help you Achieve More.
We are on a path from basic self awareness (this is WHAT I am) to high level self understanding (this is WHY I am). In learning to understand ourselves, we open up our ability to have true empathy for others.
In this video I talk about the next step in the process. Once you’ve learned how to “get at observation level” of your own behaviors, you have the opportunity to interrupt your patterned responses. To get there, you have to recognize those responses for what they are, emotional triggers from your past.
Last time in this series we started to analyze the feedback collected during your 360, and to reflect on the patterns of emotion and behavior. This is something you need to do continuously.
So you took our advice and collected feedback from a 360 survey. Now you are looking at a pile of information and you just aren’t sure what to do with it. Take the next step toward self understanding by learning to observe your behavior in the context of emotions
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