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Lifeline Relationships

Frank Walsh

We all need peer to peer support to get through life. We all face challenges, and other people can help!

Are you able to identify people in your life who will tell you the truth, and who genuinely want you to succeed? Are these people with whom you can really “go deep” when you need to? These important “lifeline relationships” can exist at home and at work. There are three critical elements to a lifeline relationship:

  • Someone with whom you can be completely vulnerable
  • Someone who is generous and committed
  • Someone with candor who can tell hard truths’

And there is a fourth element. In a lifeline relationship both parties have full accountability for themselves AND expect it from each other.

So is a lifeline relationship a friend or family member? Sometimes they can be, but more often our family and the people we surround ourselves with socially do not check the boxes. Specifically, friends and family tend to let us off easily.

What about a coach? Coaches are often very important relationships in business. Some people can’t imagine dropping their guard at work, and the “professional” relationship of a coach can help develop this ability, allowing you to have more meaningful and productive relationships with others. However coaching is mostly a one way street, while lifeline relationships need to be completely reciprocal to be effective.

A lifeline relationship doesn’t need to be based on any formal framework. The bottom line is that you need to identify the people who’s opinions and judgements you value, who you can trust to be authentic, AND who feel the same way about you. By having a sense of mutual dependency, the bond is strengthened and everyone benefits from the relationship. The dependency is nurtured by giving at least as much as you get from the relationship.

We should all have lifeline relationships. Without them we can feel lost, alone and misunderstood. Sometimes we drift around without them for a while, or we seek out those who only make us feel good about ourselves. So who is your lifeline?