I read a post today by Dan Pedersen from Living With Confidence about “Living Boldly” and I thought Dan made some thoughtful and powerful points about being bold vs being foolish, and about what it means to live boldly.
But how do we do it? How do we push aside “false fear”? How do we even recognize it?
The roots of false fear lie in our experiences, in the stories told through the generations, and even in our DNA. They will grip us when we are vulnerable, in times of crisis. They will scream inside our head “I’ve kept you safe your entire life, you can’t abandon me now!” They will pump us full of chemicals that oblige us to obey. They are an 800 pound gorilla and we cannot simply ignore them. This is as true regarding a fear of making decisions as it is for a fear of heights.
The only way to defeat them is to shine a light on them. To Explore and Discover their foundations, and to recognize the triggers that bring them to the surface. We must develop a deep understanding of ourselves. Only then can we answer that voice “Not this time. This time I choose a new way for a new outcome”.
Most people need help with this process. Observing our own behavior and objectively assessing it is extraordinarily difficult. Loved ones are not likely to tell us the hard truths (or we won’t be able to hear them) until we have already collapsed under the weight. A mentor or a coach can often help us with this discovery. If the fears are strong enough and the roots are deep and painful enough, a mental health professional may be warranted.
When we learn to LIVE boldly, we have the opportunity to LEAD boldly. We will inspire confidence in others and help them face the unknown with authenticity and without false bravado.
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